(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
Hello and welcome to the Inspired Woman podcast. My name is Sam Bell and this is the third of my first three episodes of this all new podcast. These are just short and sweet little tasters to let you know what is to come.
In the first one I did explain to you about the memory of Karidwen, Karidwen Kaim, who introduced me to stop existing and start living my life. In the second episode I told you a little bit about how my journey, my spiritual journey began when I realized that it wasn't selfish for me to want to have to be happy, to experience happiness and even then eventually to experience and love joy in my life. In this third episode I just wanted to tell you a little bit about my mother and this was very much my story, still is to an extent my story and it has inspired me.
In fact my mother has inspired me to be the person that I am today. That wasn't the case for many many years as I was growing up. I was a miserable child.
I was also probably one of the feistiest children and I was so angry at my mother. My mother and I became estranged. I have been estranged from my mother for I think it must be about 18 years and a lot of people pointed the finger at me for making that decision.
It wasn't a decision that I consciously made. It was just something that evolved over years and years and years of trauma. Trauma for myself, very likely trauma for my mother but a really really difficult relationship that ended with my mother giving my father an ultimatum.
He had to choose whether to continue a relationship with me his daughter or her his wife and my dad chose to end his relationship with me and he chose my mother. So in becoming no contact with my mother I actually became no contact with my father as well. I shared with you that in the very beginning the first episode that my dad his name was Sam Bell and I have reverted for my business name.
I've taken my maiden name which is Sam Bell and I've called my business Sam Bell Inspired because my dad Sam Bell inspired me in so many different ways. He's on the other side now and it is with a great deal of love that I'm able to share you know my dad, my memory of my dad but also my memory of my mother. As I was growing up I as I said I was very unhappy and I spent the majority of my childhood trying to please my mum and my dad but especially my mum and yet every single thing that I did that I thought would please her did the opposite.
I never pleased my mum and it was only when I started EMDR therapy that my psychologist pointed out that my mother was a narcissist and I was the daughter of a narcissistic mother. I never understood what that was at the time I didn't understand what that was but over time and my healing I have learned what that relationship was and why I understand it now. My mum in actual fact had a very very difficult relationship with her own mother and I learned as I started to research this subject that that's not terribly unusual.
This is something called generational trauma and it is a subject that I would like to delve in deeper as this podcast evolves but my mother was a victim just as I was. The difference is that I have made a conscious decision now that I understand that relationship to not be a victim as I've lived my life going forward. The relationship with your mother is probably one of the well not probably it is the most important relationship that any woman can experience in her life.
The experiences of your relationship with your mother create a blueprint for you as an individual. Creates a blueprint for any relationships moving forward and when I speak about relationships those relationships are first and foremost the relationship you have with yourself. It is also the relationship that you may have with a significant other.
The relationship that you have with your siblings, with your friends, with your work colleagues, with anybody. Also the relationship that you have with other energies for instance money. So as these episodes unravel I don't know where they're going to take us but I do know that these are all relationships that we are going to explore in more depth.
My hope, my wish for you is that you will hear something in this podcast that will stop you in your tracks, make you realize that you're existing in your life and how you can start living your life. How you can find joy and purpose and passion in your life. We all deserve that and I think that's one of the first things that I want to ensure that you the listeners understand.
You deserve joy, you deserve happiness, you deserve passion, you deserve to live your life now and not wait until it's too late. There is a happy ending to my story of estrangement with my mother. Unfortunately I lost my father and was never able to make amends and reconnect with him.
He passed away before I was able to do that but when he passed away my sister, my only sibling, she reached out to me and I her on a couple of occasions. The first few they didn't work out so well but in the last year my sister and I have rediscovered our relationship and we now both are helping support one another in what we now understand to have been somewhat dysfunctional childhood. And we're now both thriving in our lives and thriving in our relationship so there is a happy ending.
I want to share with you as well that despite my relationship with my mother and the estrangement, I have recently connected with my cousins and I'm excited to see what 2025 is going to bring for me and my cousins as we reconnect. I had lived thinking that my mother had managed to tell them, oh I don't know, what horrifying stories about me and the reasons for our estrangement. I dread to think what she might have told them and that that might have coloured their vision of me.
In actual fact it's turned out that if those stories were told they have looked beyond them and are looking to me as an individual, to me as a person. I am not what my mother thought I was and I am excited and looking forward to sharing with you, the listener, as I re-explore and revisit the relationships that I have with the Bell family. My sister and I have already started to make amends and continue the legacy that my dad would have loved to have seen, which is the joy of the Bell family.
Through subsequent episodes I will be sharing with you some of the things about a narcissistic relationship. My mother was a narcissist, I discovered that I was an empath and I discovered that any narcissist requires an empath to help them to survive, help them feel good about themselves. I was also the scapegoat and much of my life I grew up thinking I was less than, thinking that I was the bad child, thinking that I was not a nice person, all of the above and it's only since my 40s, my early 40s, that I've started to realise that I'm actually not a bad person.
I'm actually quite a good person and I actually have something that will help other people and that is my story. So I'm excited to share more and more of my story as each episode unravels. I promise to bring to you a number of people who have inspired me in my life and each episode that I introduce a new person to you, they will be asked what inspires them.
It's all about inspiration. As I've told you, inspiration it's my personal power. I love to feel inspiration.
When I feel inspired I can do anything. I can achieve anything. I can be anything and it happens with such ease and flow.
So I want to share that inspiration with you so that you can experience the same and at each episode I will introduce you to these inspirational individuals who have not only inspired me, they will share with you who or what inspires them and in turn how they inspire you and their clients and other people in their lives. Inspiration is a superpower and it's my kryptonite. Love it and I really want to share it with you over these coming episodes.
So the first thing that I want to do in closing this episode is just leave you with a thought about your relationship with your mother. Whether it have been good, whether it's been bad, whether it has ended, whether it continues. I want you to focus on that relationship that you have had with your mother.
Think about how it has influenced your life. Think about how she has influenced your life and then also think back to how your grandmother has influenced your mother and her life and how she has mothered you. The mother relationship, mother-daughter relationship, it is profound, it is beautiful and within that relationship there are so many secrets for you to unlock and we will be unlocking those secrets as we move forward with the Inspired Woman podcast.
Until next time, this is Sam Bell saying goodbye for now.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
