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Welcome to the Inspired Woman podcast with your host, Sam Bell. Get ready to be inspired by inspirational women and men who are making a real difference in our world today. Listen in as they share their stories and provide their weekly dose of inspiration to help you stop existing and start living your life with passion, purpose, and joy.
Get ready to be inspired. Hello everybody and welcome to the Inspired Woman podcast show and I've got a very beautiful guest with me today whose name is Sora Schilling. Sora is a sacred space holder, strategy alchemist, transformative business coach, powerful medicine woman, energy healer, international retreat leader, inspirational speaker, fire igniter, heart whisperer, and world traveler.
She works with sovereign spiritual folks to incorporate the art of feeling sacred in their spiritual path through earth-based practices. She uses energy coaching and mystical practices to help coaches, healers, and spiritual beings trust their medley and medicine so that they may be of service and live in alignment with their soul essence. She loves to help people embrace their medicine while sitting in ceremony, leading highly intuitive individuals and groups through powerful experiences in Magic of Circle, cosmically blissful business, lush business mentorship, devoted energy coaching school, on retreats, and from the stage.
As a minister of walking prayer she blends real-world experience with mystical transformation, ritualistic practices, inner reflection, conscious communication, and innovative circle work to help luminaries create great impact with their communities. I'm delighted to welcome you, Sora, as my inspired woman this week. Oh, I am so honored to be here and be in your presence this week.
It has been the joy and I've been so looking forward to this. Oh, well you've been in my life for a few years now, Sora, as one of those people out there that has inspired me to really step into my power and move forward in my business and bring me, my essence, into my business. So thank you and I'm so excited for listeners to share, you know, what I have experienced.
I can't wait. So I have to ask you, I ask everybody, what or who inspires you, Sora? I find that the people that are in my life, whether it's for a short period of time or a long period of time, are those that inspire me. So from a very young age, I was one who was a bit more introverted and would dream in my own little imaginative world and it was those people in my life that had this incredible ability to pull me out of my own internal space and engage with life and those things that were so human externally that I found myself leaning into.
There was a safety in these humans that were able to do that. And so throughout my years, I've noticed that there was always a select few people who would come and enter into my life that would bring so much healing and change and impact and would inspire me, but most importantly would see me, would fully see my brilliance and my love and what I had to offer and continue to cultivate that outwardly. Oh, I love that.
Yeah. And I mean, mentioning that, you know, your essence and who you are, I know that I've called this episode The Devoted Way. Can you maybe just elaborate a little bit on The Devoted Way? What is it? Beautiful.
Thank you for asking. So The Devoted Way became this place of sanctuary and service for myself and for those that desire to be part of this community. I don't necessarily want to even call it my community because it is a collaborative environment.
It is deeply seated in the principles of Sacred Circle, which as you know, is basically what I entered into this world with as a service provider holding sacred circles. And so The Devoted Way to me is that it's a way, a code, a way of remembering that your internal day-to-day life could be done in a place of devotion, from a place of graciousness and generosity, while also graciousness and generosity for yourself, honoring your own divine boundaries and sacred sovereign ways and having self-agency to be able to really plant your two feet in your humanness, but also recognize that you are part of something greater than that. And so when I invite folks to enter in, majority of the time they are space holders, and they too feel the call of holding space and be devotional in their practice, but also devotion to us in the way in which we can grow our businesses and create wealth and sustainability, especially for many of us who are part of marginalized community who never felt as if that was something that they can do.
And so there's a devotion to our vision and a devotion to us as a community, so that we don't ever have to walk a path alone anymore. Oh, I love that. And I mean, I also started off with Women's Circles, and I just love the whole principle of circle.
And I've actually just been in a workshop, and the facilitator had us all sat in a circle. And I was just like, yes, this is fantastic. And the course was A Path to Reconciliation.
So it was certainly a way of making sure that we were all in that circle, and we were all equal, and we were all bringing the same energy into that circle. And it was amazing watching individuals like, oh, where's my desk? Where do I put my book? Where do I put my notebook? Just taking, putting everybody into this discomfort. But then by the end of the week, this circle was so damn strong.
The relationships that have been formed in there, and the learning that happened was just phenomenal. I mean, personally, I'm biased, but to me, a circle is the only way to learn. I agree.
I'm biased in that too. And later on in my life, when I was in high school, I did learn in circle, meaning every class we had was in a circle. And I realized it created a profound impact in me and how I hold space and why I started with circles.
So yeah, I get it. It's amazing. And I mean, women, you know, I mean, when you get a group of women together, who build one another up, instead of tearing each other down, it's so powerful.
It really is. And that's one of the things, you know, I mean, I call this the inspired woman, that is not because I am marginalizing our men, because we will have men on this show as well. And I will be inspired woman by these men.
But I think there's a lot to be said about divine feminine energy. And that is the devoted way, you know, I mean, listeners have heard me talk about divine feminine energy, and how important it is that we all come from that essence, from that heart centered space. So I love what you what you've shared there.
Thank you. You said that you came from a marginalized place. Can I go there? Are you okay? Sure, absolutely.
Explain a little bit more for our listeners. Sure. So I come from an immigrant family.
So I was first generation Korean American who was entering into the world of both ends. So neither being of one world or the other. So I speak Korean, but not very well at all.
And, and so I'm not culturally identified necessarily with Korean culture, because I wasn't born and raised there in my motherland. But here to growing up, especially being in my mid 40s, I grew up at a time and a young age where racism was very, very potent. And I remember at a very young age, people yelling at me to leave the country, and why am I here.
And so definitely there was a feeling of being other and not belonging. And so I find that much of my work is centered around that feeling of belonging, that a majority of people in our worlds here don't necessarily feel like they fit somewhere. And what does that even need, right? What construct is available, right, based on society's programming, that creates a construct of what people, where people fit.
And majority of the way our construct has been created, most people aren't supposed to fit, we're supposed to feel like we don't fit, that we're not good enough. And so therefore, knowing that as part of my own internal wounds, but also culturally and ancestrally my wounds, it's been one of the reasons why I'm so dedicated to creating very diverse and inclusive spaces and speak about trauma informed spaces and doing the work that I do. I love that.
Yeah, it's an interesting world that we're living in at the moment. And I can certainly relate having been, I wasn't an immigrant, I'm an immigrant now to Canada, but I was born in the UK and I was brought up in Wales. And a lot of people don't realize that Wales is a different country within the United Kingdom, right? So there was a Welsh language and I came in and I spoke very English, you know, with very English accent and I was different and I was bullied because of it.
And, you know, and then all through my life, I think I've ended up always being that person that was a little bit different. And because I was something a little bit different about me, that it may, it created waves. And the sister wound, women, I really struggled from an early age to form meaningful relationships.
And so I have a little glimpse into it, but not to the same as yourself, obviously. But what I have learned is, like you said, I love how different we all are and I embrace that. But the world that we're entering into at the moment is certainly a little bit scary, if for anybody who dares to be different in any way.
Have you any? Yeah, definitely. And even your sense of the wound of the sister wound is such a common one that I find is what brings a lot of folks together, a lot of inspired women coming together, right? Because this world has been created to create that divide. It's very divisive amongst women.
And there's been a huge conditioning to, like you said, break us apart rather than build us up together, because there is a potency and it's scary when women band together, it seems from other people, because we can create great impact and change. And so I do find at this moment in time, yes, it can be very scary. And internally, I do a lot of nervous system regulation so that I'm not dysregulated in that time.
But also it's a powerful, inspiring time for us to come together. And I find at the moment that so many folks are coming together and redefining or deepening into a sense of community. And what does that mean? And how do we come together, continue to work on those wounds and really rebuild the trust and repair our relationships so that we can make those changes because no one else is going to do it for us? No, that's the truth.
And if everybody is doing their little piece to heal, then we'll heal the majority. Have you any any tips for our listeners on how they may start this work? Because it sounds really powerful and daunting. But from my experience, there are some very easy things that we can do, right, to start to bring about that change and that healing for ourselves.
What would you what would you share with our listeners for that? I think that's such a broad topic. And I wonder if for at this moment, part of what may be happening for most folks is that they're feeling very uncomfortable, right, whether they can name within themselves, they're feeling rage and anger or disappointment and frustration, or even a feeling a sense of loss or confusion, because they're not quite sure why they're feeling what they're feeling, but they know something is off. And so for me, one of the most easiest yet not, and I'll put a little caveat to that, one of the ways in which I find that I have been able to move through some of those hardships through our lived experiences, and we've had many in the past number of years of great change and transition.
And so we came together during one of them during the pandemic. And so therefore, I recognize really what I need to lean into is having those people I can come into a sacred space with. And so to me, that's one of the easiest ways, but it's hard to first enter in.
So when you have those issues with trust or feeling as if you can feel secure in an environment, when you've had past wounds, to me, like you Sam, entering into circle is one of the most profound and quickest way to create healing. Because you enter in feeling all the feels and all of the past memories around discomfort around being with other people, based on what you've had experienced. But when you're in a warm space, like the ones you create for your community, all of a sudden you can enter in and begin to recognize that that is not your experience at this moment, that what you're remembering isn't what you have to actually feel right this very moment.
And that breaks that cycle. And so to me, I always find one of my go to's whenever I'm feeling lost or afraid or uncomfortable or scared is to enter into a sacred council, whether that is a circle or my dearest friends that have incredible self agency and are very responsible with their own emotions and self and just being able to lean on them. Those are the ways for me.
And then lastly, it's making sure that my body begins to learn how to notice when it is in a freeze or flight state and begin to use simple practices like breath or movement to help either create stillness or to release some of the energy so that I can find presence again. I love that. You've mentioned that you've touched on some things that are very dear to my heart.
And the first thing for me is knowing yourself, you know, exploring yourself and really knowing yourself and talking about society and the values. I know for myself, I lived the values of my mother for years and years and years and my father without really exploring what I really valued in my life. Because that's at the end of the day, you know, you talk about values and it's like, what do you really value? What is important to you? And I realized by the time I turned 40, I'm a little older than you, Zora, but by the time I turned 40, I didn't even know who I was.
I had no idea because I had tried so hard to fit in and to be accepted that I had lost my complete identity. You know, and I think that that really is encapsulating everything that you're saying there. You end up not knowing the path that you're walking.
You don't understand or know yourself. I didn't know how to show up in relationships or whether those relationships be with an important other or whether it be my girlfriends, my family, my sister. It was such a profound struggle.
And I think there are so many people out there that really have never had the opportunity to explore who they truly, really are. Would you agree? I definitely agree. And it's not an easy venture to take, right? It is an adventure.
But often, we don't know what we're hiding from. We're not even aware that we might not be living our fullest expression until there's that small niggle, that whisper of an intuition that says something's not right, or I'm longing for something, or a shift happens or a big transition, and it hits you. And you might feel unprepared.
But it's really a beautiful way also of recognizing that maybe there is some moment now to pause and consider, like you said, what are your values? And what are your beliefs? And are they truly yours? Or are they truly not? And so the question I always pose for myself is, Is this true? Is this mine? And that helps me begin to just pause and take a moment, and then disconnect a little bit enough so that I can begin to meet that energy or that action, reaction or belief and begin to actually wonder, OK, that belief just ran through my mind. Is that mine? Is that true? Or if I react to something, and I do something or say something, is that truly mine? Is that a reaction based on a wound? Or is that because I truly believe in that? Right? Relationships, I mean, make you do all sorts of things. And you have to sit there, like with my partner, and I have to say, Is that truly based on my own strong beliefs? Or is that because of a wound of something that I'm experiencing, and so I'm reacting to it? Or is this something that truly is, had been ingrained in me? And that's why I'm assuming this, right? Yeah.
Oh, no, I love that. I love the way that you, you, you express yourself. That's something I've always loved about you, Sora, the way that you, you express yourself and the language that you bring to everything.
It's so soothing. I mean, one of the things I always associate with you, when I think about Sora Schilling, it's your medicine. Your medicine.
What is your medicine? Now, be, be a nurse, it's something that you take, but makes you feel better. Can you maybe explain to our listeners who are maybe not of this spiritual woo-woo realm? Absolutely. Yeah.
How, what is, what is your medicine? We all have it, right? Yeah, absolutely. So when I speak to medicine, I speak it in both ways. In regards to, I'm always looking to wonder, what is the medicine I'm currently taking? Meaning, what is that lesson? What is that initiation? What is the hard thing that is presenting itself for me to courageously, because I'm devoted to being self-aware and continuously be self-actualized, that I need to take? And sometimes it'll be sweet.
Sometimes it'll be really bitter. Sometimes I want to take it and sometimes I don't. But there's huge healing that is involved.
And I am healing myself. So I see that as medicine. On the other side of it, I find that we each have medicine.
We each have this particular way of being, of being this embodied magical essence that becomes medicine for the soul, for those that are around you, including yourself. And so we each have a particular way of being. Now, I don't mean all the skill sets and the know-how that each individual has, nor even all about your personality.
But more importantly, there are ways in which, for example, you might be an initiator or an activator or a soother, or you might be one who can compassionately help heal, or you can be one who sovereignly activates someone to be better and greater than they were ever before. Everyone has qualities. And when that quality matches someone who is in need of that, there's something that brews this alchemical process.
And so therefore, when you embrace your medicine, there will be people that you interact with that will love it. And there are people who will interact with it, and they're not going to love it. But that's OK, because it might be the medicine that they need.
And quite often, if you release control or the idea you need to fix, and you just honor yourself as is, right, which is our lesson as people, because there's always second-guessing about ourselves, then the person might actually receive something from it. And they may either walk away, never recognizing, realizing or wanting to have any sort of connection with you, or they might come back and be like, Wow, that was really hard to take. And you were so valuable in my life at this point in time for this reason.
So that's what I think of as medicine. I love that. Yes, thank you.
Thank you. Because as I say, you know, we, we can sometimes start talking in all of the, the spiritual and, you know, the woo-woo, as my husband calls it, where in actual fact, you know, when you, I remember my first experience when I met Cindy, Cindy Smith, who's my business partner now. And I sat there in her audience, and she was talking about angels.
And I at that time was, I believed I was atheist, right, and that I have no belief, no religious belief whatsoever. I didn't understand spirituality at that time. And I sat there and I listened to what she had to say.
And she had the medicine that I needed at that time. So I love this. But I, I remember thinking to myself, take all the angel talk away.
And what she's saying is really making sense and hitting home. So I'm always very aware that, you know, there might be someone out there who doesn't understand this language or doesn't like this language. But in actual fact, when you take that away, we're all really trying to teach and learn the same lessons.
And that's just so, so rich, so valuable. But I do love the idea of medicine, because me, but it's interesting, you said about being a fixer. I think most of us out here are fixers, wouldn't you agree? Say that each person has their, yes, I find that many folks care.
And in their caring, they will desire to help someone. I find that each person who does it might do it in slightly different ways. Even the idea of fixer, even as an archetype, I wonder, some people will fix by taking it on and being like, let me just take on your, your wound.
Others will fix by wanting to give lots of advice and be like, you have to do it this way. Other fixers are going to try and go around the person and see there's other ways that they can change things so that the person doesn't even have to experience it anymore. So I do find that there are many different opportunities there.
But what I always look at is Cartman's Triangle of Conflict, which is for each of us, we find ourselves in conflict when we are either in persecutor, rescuer or victim. And so in that, we will always try to, let's say, fix or change something. But really, once we recognize that we're doing something from that space, we are actually out of it, because we're now aware.
And now we can come from a really sovereign place. Mm hmm. I love that.
And that triangle, I use something similar. I call it the empathy trap. So the, you have the narcissist, you have the empath, and you have the apath.
And they probably, you know, all are very similar in, as you say. But when we're healthy, we can actually move between all of those. It's when we get stuck in that one place that we, we, it becomes unhealthy, right? Not only for yourself, but for the other as well.
So I would encourage everybody who's listening to this episode, think about where you fit in as that fixer. And think about how you can get to know yourself better. And figure out, you know, find some sacred space, find some, some place where you will feel safe and can explore safely who you are.
Do you want to add to that, Sora, just as a parting note? Sure. Lastly, when you're looking at yourself, because you've identified in a role, whether it's fixer, or anything else, caregiver, whatever it could be, one of the greatest questions I ask myself is, what do I get from doing this? Whether or not I like it or not, because your ego is being fed in some way. And that's why you keep doing the habitual act that you have.
And so if your fixing feeds this internal child's desire to be seen worthy, then that might be it. Or if it's because you are desiring to feel belonging, or maybe it is a way for you to have control. And so there's usually a reason why you do what you do, whether or not it comes, and sometimes it comes from a vanilla place, and other times it doesn't.
Either way, if we can begin to really recognize the root of our behavior based on an emotional attachment to it, then our awareness starts really strengthening its muscle. Mm hmm. So on that note, how do you inspire others? It's a big question.
I would say I inspire others by remembering and allowing folks to recognize that imagination and play and fun can actually be the seat of sacredness and depth and soulful awakenings. That when we enter into a space of awe and wonder is when we have freedom and liberation. And that's when there's so many great opportunities to find solutions and taking next steps can happen.
And so I hope that always, that's one of the things I do that in our spaces, that there's always awe and wonder. I love that. Yes.
So on that note, where can people find you if they want to work with you? Thank you. Absolutely. So you can find me on my virtual temple space, which is devotedway.com. And you can always find me on Instagram, which is the easiest.
So if you go to at devoted way, you can go follow me, message me, and that's where we can have conversations. Beautiful. Thank you so much.
I know you inspire me. And I trust that we, that somebody may even if it's just one person who's listening and realizes this makes so much sense, I need to take these steps, you know, because life is short. It's just too short, you know, to not do this work.
And thank you so much for helping others to do it too. So thank you, Sora. Thank you so much for holding the space and having this incredible podcast for this kind of dialogue.
Thank you. Thank you for joining us on the Inspired Woman podcast. Your host, Sam Bell will be back with another dose of inspiration next week.
Can't wait? Head on over to the Inspired Woman community at SamBellInspired.com and join other like minded women looking to inspire and be inspired.
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